15 Apr 2011

The Jealousy

Jealousy is basically a set of uncomfortable feelings based on mistrust and fear of losing control over something or someone.

It is a kind of warning feeling made by the "self". It is how each person perceives the relationship of itself with owned things or with people who are within the circle of these relationships. it is the level of pleasure and displeasure that these relationships cause when the affective perceptions are threatened.

The jealousy is a legitimate feeling when it has a clear foundation and visible reality that everybody could see, for example: your neighbor steals flowers from your garden to give to someone. When it is clear and evident that something had been stolen or loose against the will and there were a loss in the control of the esteem object, in that case, jealousy is legitimate. But it has limited time duration on recovery, righteousness over missing element or to conform to a situation that cannot be changed, normal jealousy must come down until it disappears. Non pathological jealousy has a beginning, middle and end.

Unlike any other jealousy will be pathological one. (Illness)

Jealousy is a very rarely substantiated fact when it repeated many time, in this case the object of jealousy is external, always causes the person to suffer in a passive way. (The facts comes from outside).

 The pathological jealousy is active in the person (inside out) it is not a plea in a proven fact, but it is distorted perception of reality, facts and feelings.

Therefore they are called "jealous people" because jealousy emanates from within; the person is alive in constant jealous behavior activating the process of his views and perceptions on all times.

 This sentiment, often takes a devastating fury that William Shakespeare called it "green-eyed monster" and he was about his work of the seventeenth century, when "Othello - The Moor of Venice", driven by an insanely jealous about his best friend with his wife, ends up killing the honest, tender and sweet Desdemona.
The Shakespearean drama repeats until today. Many Othello´s and Desdemona's life stage and staged Shakespeare´s text in real life.

 For some people jealousy is seen as a kind of zeal, a sign of love, as a renovator wornness and appreciation of the relationship partner, but in reality it is an evidence of insecurity and lowered self-esteem. There are people who miss and want their partner feel jealous, which is a far more reality distortion because it feeds “the beast”.

When a jealous one is confronted by it lack of evidence for such jealousy, it turns to a victim stage and reacts emotionally as overwhelmed, Jealousies does everything to stay in control of their paranoid reasons.

 For this reason the jealous desire to have a full control of his companions or emotional possession objects. More and more control over of “who” or “things” that control seems never enough. The person who suffers from this evil disease is always looking for confessions or confirmations for their suspiciousness and even if able to see the contrary it never will never satisfied. Jalousie keeps mulling suspicion or something else such a thing that causes by their disease.

Pathological jealousy can go wild into a delusional process by which individual will build thoughts that exist only in their imagination, the twisted mind does it go further.
A person whose jealousy is unhealthy may, for example, have a behavior similar to this: if the other says he will travel, will shower him with questions: Who will, where it goes, how long it takes, do not delay, phones controlling, etc. It is common at the turn of the trip and even day to day, things the other scour the search for evidence of infidelity, including the phone memory.

At the mere mention of ex, is cause for making a scene drama in which aggression can be present in words and even physically.
If the other comes out with same-sex friends to go to a bar, the jealous will keep calling especially to hear the background noise listening for voices of the opposite sex when it is not going there to check on the spot.
The contact with the opposite sex partner may also trigger the pathological process of delirium.

One always asks questions like who wants nothing to friends and relatives about the behavior of others in their absence. Their professional life is hindered because they can not think of anything but their ruminations. Put investigator to follow him or her or their will follow personally. It does everything that a decompensate mind dominated by mistrust and insecurity can conceive.

Such “delirium” also causes to this person to experience various emotions such as anxiety, depression, anger, shame, insecurity, explosions of love, humiliation, guilt, desire for 
revenge ...

The jealous live in eternal looping of suffering, what causes huge stress, emotional imbalance and it turns any relationship always tense.
This lack of sense can lead them to star in ridiculous and embarrassing public scenes.

The grand finale of jealous is paradoxical. The love will suffer from these distortions until its gone, they are love looser. Despite of the guilt that carries their obsessive thinking it can result in a partner loss. A paradox, their most fear and suffering of losing the other and it is exactly the obsession who washes the other away by separation.

Today we know that some areas of the brain can be over activated by neurotransmitters and by that and vice-versa some cognitive pathways are driven to make some emotional areas to overreact, it may cause or amplify the feeling mentioned here. Treatments are available to calm down such areas that may cause the intensity of that vicious thinking.

If you believe someone is experiencing this or maybe you feel that it is talking about yourself, if you feel uncontrollable jealousy, seek help from a professional is always time to improve.

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